Adam Hunt Sports Columnist / Reporterhunty_5@hotmail.comThose of us without our heads firmly lodged in the sand were exposed to a classic example of a sports star making headlines for something other than their abilities last week.
And that star was about as big as they come – the imperious Tiger Woods.
But crashing his Cadillac SUV into a fire hydrant would seem to be the least of the world’s best golfers’ worries at the moment, given the proverbial media tempest that this accident has whipped up.
However, the actual incident itself appears to have become a mere byline following a series of rumors surfacing about Tiger’s supposed illicit affairs with various women and the reaction of his wife, Elin, to the news.
Sadly for Mrs Woods, the whole sorry situation merely highlights further one of the less publicized trends in the private lives of prominent sportsmen – that their romances are, more than likely, doomed to fail.
Now, let’s get a few things straight. One of the first things you learn as an aspiring sports star is the art of selfishness. It’s all about getting that touchdown pass into a state of perfection, about capturing the next title, about becoming number one.
That is the just way it is – the way it has to be – if you want to be the best of the best. Numero Uno. The Big Cheese.
So is it any wonder, given this patent focus on narcissism, that there is so little room for the feelings and sensibilities of anyone else?
Personally, I subscribe to the iceberg theory of relationships: that most of what is important between two people is concealed well beneath the surface.
Look in from the outside – whether at the relationship between Tiger and Elin, or your best friend and his other half – and you will only get a partial and often misleading view. The truth of any relationship is what happens in private behind closed doors: the feelings, the conversations, the sacrifices, often small but which, in their way, oil the machinery of love.
But the fact that so many sporting relationships end up on the rocks suggests that the elevation of egotism into a professional pursuit sits uneasily with the often subtle nature of romance.
I am not suggesting for a moment that Woods is a wholly selfish partner, pursuing his sporting ambitions with reference to nothing and nobody else, merely that the wider truth is undeniable.
The apparently best example of a successful long-term relationship involving a high-earning, high-powered, highly motivated sportsman exists between tennis master Roger Federer and his wife, Mirka. But they are in a distinct minority.
In days gone by, Nick Faldo, the six-time major winning golfer, persuaded his (now ex) wife Gill to have three induced births to fit in with his tour schedule and practice arrangements.
She has since said during a BBC interview: “In my heart I would have loved to have had a natural birth, but at the time it was a mutual decision. I did sometimes wonder what it would take for Nick to pull out of a tournament for someone else’s sake.”
In the US, Kobe Bryant caused a stir when he admitted to infidelity after allegations of sexual assault emerged in 2003. Many Americans felt before this incident, and even in the aftermath, that Bryant was a “good guy.”
It appears that sporting icons have, for the most part, been able to manage their responsibilities to give back to society, to play fairly and relate with fans such that their personal misdemeanors are somewhat forgiven and forgotten by the general public. A sports star’s image is sometimes worth much more than the talents that thrust them into the spotlight in the first place so it is in their best interests to cultivate that image carefully. However, cultivating a successful relationship often proves a bridge too far.
According to a recent report in USA Today, 70% of marriages involving professional sportsmen end in divorce. Compare that to the overall divorce rate in America which hovers just above 50% and this is a startling statistic.
That the selfish ethos of playing sport for a living is ultimately to blame for this figure finds an echo in a far wider phenomenon. For can it be denied that the escalating divorce rate of recent times has, at least in part, been connected to the focus on personal gains proclaimed by some of the ideals Western materialism? The very suggestion that life is fundamentally about self-satisfaction (sporting or otherwise) rather than duty and loyalty must be corrosive of any combined human endeavor, but romantic relationships most of all.
I am not implying that all relationships involving sporting megastars are doomed, merely that there can be few more difficult gigs than being hitched to one of them.
It may look marvelous, sitting in the players’ box at Madison Square Garden, the television cameras zooming in every five seconds, but that often disguises a deeper, darker reality. It is the reality of living a life in a partner’s shadow, of willingly subverting one’s own ambitions, of dutifully worshipping another person’s obsession.
It is often only when sportsmen retire, freeing themselves from the all-pervading ethos of “me, me, me,” that they are able to embrace the startling fact that their partner also has feelings, aspirations, desires, hopes and dreams that do not revolve around winning the next Olympic gold, Wimbledon title, Super Bowl, whatever.
They may even, heaven forbid, revolve around what happens away from sport. About a healthy work-life balance. About shared experiences. About devotion and sacrifice. The fabric, in fact, of real life.
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